Worse living centre

The clientele at a Tim Hortons in Kenora aren’t particularly fond of Toronto, revealed The Sunday Star in a sensationalistic cross-country checkup on hick antipathy toward this city. Gosh, wonder what other things such people don’t have any tolerance for – they would’ve been the same ones outraged when Alan Thicke chortled that, in his hometown of Kirkland Lake, a “virgin” was a 16-year-old who’d only been knocked up once. A world-weary teenage grocery clerk shrugs off the fact that Kenora’s only homeless people are Aboriginal, compared to the terror she felt at 14 when visiting “the only Canadian city with American crime”, which she need only avoid for five more decades to rival the retired fisherman in Peggy’s Cove, N.S. who’s kept his distance from “none too friendly” Toronto since 1948. For today’s dialogue in The Globe and Mail, pondering the topic Can our city be beautiful in the next five years?, a panel of architectural pointy-heads bemoaning a lack of focus, absence of leadership and misallocation of resources leads one to figure unconscious urbanism is our collective destiny. How else to explain the idea of a National Football League team in Toronto being regurgitated as a dim prospect for yet another generation? It’d seem an NHL-free winter is enough for dreary SkyDome’s new landlord to hang hopes on this last remaining bastion of commercial break curiosity. The country’s Diet Pepsi bottlers even had the temerity to issue a press release insisting one-third of Canadian viewers would be raptly tuned to Super Bowl commercials via Global, fruitlessly waiting for a taste of Tabasco, and getting stuck with Canadian Tire retreads instead. Diet Pepsi spots starring Carson Daly and Carson Kressley, meanwhile, remained as inaccessible in Toronto as anywhere else in this nation, which would certainly be crumbling to bits at this very moment if not for Mitsou.